Consistently, Inconsistent!!!

This pretty much summarizes Jayla in the past few weeks. I thought we were on our way to her sleeping through the night and getting past this colic, but it seems that I was wrong. With regards to her sleeping, it could be anywhere from 3.5 hours to 9 hours...at night. And on those nights where it's 3.5 hours, she'll continue to wake up every couple hours after that until it's time to get up. I don't know how to handle it. I mean, she's over 4 months now, should she be sleeping straight through? Should I not be offering to feed/comfort her with the breast at night? I know every baby is different and she will reach this milestone (as any other milestone) when she's ready, but there must be something we/I can do to encourage it. I am getting so frustrated. I don't want to let her CIO (cry it out), she's too young for that..., but I am running low on patience and also on energy. When we have nights like the other night (waking at 1:30, 3:20, 5:30, 7:20 and then at 9:00...) I just can't function during the day. I think it's time for me to talk to somebody about this. I need to know that it's going to get better...and I need to convince my mind of this fact. It's so hard to look at this situation objectively, as I feel like I am the victim, so I'm constantly feeling sorry for myself. And I guess I want others to feel sorry for me too. But, really, what good does it do to mope around?

Anyway, on to something a little more cheerful? Yes, please! Even though Jayla hasn't started laughing yet, she sure does show us that she's enjoying herself (most of the time, when she's not hungry or tired, or just cranky in general)....I love her big wide mouth smiles. She's been doing this thing lately, where I am feeding her and then all of a sudden she'll stop eating and pull her mouth off, and give me this big smile, where her eyes just light up. Such an amazing feeling. I feel like she really loves me....(and her daddy too, he's got a few tricks up his sleeve). She's not very interested in rolling over yet either, but I guess they say that it doesn't always happen this soon. Plus, she's a little on the heavy side, it's probably quite tough to move all that weight over. I suppose more tummy time should help, but she fusses within a few minutes when I put her on her tummy.

We took her swimming a few weeks ago. It was on the August long weekend, at Grandma and Grandpa's trailer park. She seemed to enjoy it, although at first she seemed a little skeptical, maybe because of the temperature of the water. It was quite a bit colder than her usual bath water at home. Speaking of her bath, she loves it. But she is completely horrified when we take her out....I'm not sure what to do about that, but that part of the bedtime routine is really hard. Maybe it would be better if we didn't bath her during the bedtime routine...maybe we need to change things up a little...? I wish I knew the answers....I guess it's really a gambling game, what works for some babies doesn't work for all babies.

Oh and we've been spending time with the other moms and babies from our pre-natal classes. They are all wonderful. It's great to talk to others and get their perspectives on how things are going or things they're trying that are working or not working....I'm sure we'll all stay good friends as our babies get older.....

Well, I guess that's all for now...I really have to try and update this more often...