I love her so much
Jayla is the most amazing little baby. We absolutely love her to pieces. I just realized after reading my previous post, it's time to start looking at this experience a bit more positively. I feel so incredibly blessed to have this wonderful little girl in my life. Her smile just melts my heart. I can't stand to think that for even one second I was upset with something that this helpless little creature did. She's relying on me to teach her things and become a loving, caring, independent, intelligent person.
Take for example the night wakings. Shouldn't I consider this a time to cherish? Soon enough (and probably too soon) she's not going to be waking in the night and then I'll miss her - I'll miss that loving look, her little fingers tugging on my shirt or wrapping around my fingers, her little body sprawled out across my lap and her little eyes starting up at me with the moonlight barely sneaking through the curtains on her face. I have my whole life to sleep. I don't want to miss even a second of that closeness and that amazing bond that her and I share. And not to take anything away from her and her daddy's relationship, but there's something to be said about a mother-baby bond. It's like nothing else in this world. I love Jayla more than I ever could have dreamed I would and I feel so lucky every day that I wake up to see her and hold her.
Dear Jayla...
I just want to describe to you how much I love ALL of you....Let's start with the top of your head....Your hair is starting to fall out...just on the top, every time I kiss your head, another strand of light brown hair attaches itself to my lips, but it's oh so soft and you've got the cutes little bald spot on the back of your head where you've been rubbing it against your crib comforter. Your bright blue eyes, they sparkle even in the dimmest of lighting. And when you smile, your eyes smile too. They're bright, big and beautiful. Your rosy, chubby cheeks. I just love to kiss them all the time. I am so lucky to have that chance, whenever I want. Your little pink lips....and your tongue, you're trying so hard these days to blow raspberries and I can tell you get a little frustrated because you're having a hard time with it. But you'll get it soon enough and you'll be so proud of yourself. Oh and your smile...like I said, it just melts my heart. I love to see you smile. Your arms that lead down to your hands that lead to your fingers - which you are constantly either sucking on, or wrapping them tightly around my fingers or my shirt, or my bra, or even placing them gently on my breast while you're eating. Sometimes you drag your sharp fingernails across my arm, or start tugging at daddy's arm hair with your strong grip. Just showing us your strength I guess. Your cute little tummy. Now that your belly button has minimized a little, it's such a cute belly. I just love tickling it, or rubbing lotion on it, or giving it big kisses, or blowing raspberries on it. You have the softest skin of anyone I know. Your little baby bum. Everyone loves a cute little baby bottom. And with no diaper rashes to date...I can say that you've been pretty happy about it too! Your big strong legs. Some might call them thunder thighs, but you're only 4 months old, that can't be....They're strong so that you can practice standing on my lap, or climbing up my torso and over my shoulder. You haven't made it that far yet, but someday...I'm sure you'll conquer. Finally your sweet little feet. I could just pour chocolate sauce on them and eat them up. Your perfect little toes - are just so sweet. Jayla, from head to toe, I just love you to bits! You're so perfect to me. You just take your time doing what you need to do, and I'll just be there for the ride. I'll follow your cues and when you're ready to move on, I'll be there to help you and guide you anyway I can.
Please forgive me for having any negative thoughts. I just want to be the best mom possible and I don't want to make any mistakes. I know that if I do, you'll forgive me, but just know that I am doing this the only way I know how to.
Love Mommy!
Take for example the night wakings. Shouldn't I consider this a time to cherish? Soon enough (and probably too soon) she's not going to be waking in the night and then I'll miss her - I'll miss that loving look, her little fingers tugging on my shirt or wrapping around my fingers, her little body sprawled out across my lap and her little eyes starting up at me with the moonlight barely sneaking through the curtains on her face. I have my whole life to sleep. I don't want to miss even a second of that closeness and that amazing bond that her and I share. And not to take anything away from her and her daddy's relationship, but there's something to be said about a mother-baby bond. It's like nothing else in this world. I love Jayla more than I ever could have dreamed I would and I feel so lucky every day that I wake up to see her and hold her.
Dear Jayla...
I just want to describe to you how much I love ALL of you....Let's start with the top of your head....Your hair is starting to fall out...just on the top, every time I kiss your head, another strand of light brown hair attaches itself to my lips, but it's oh so soft and you've got the cutes little bald spot on the back of your head where you've been rubbing it against your crib comforter. Your bright blue eyes, they sparkle even in the dimmest of lighting. And when you smile, your eyes smile too. They're bright, big and beautiful. Your rosy, chubby cheeks. I just love to kiss them all the time. I am so lucky to have that chance, whenever I want. Your little pink lips....and your tongue, you're trying so hard these days to blow raspberries and I can tell you get a little frustrated because you're having a hard time with it. But you'll get it soon enough and you'll be so proud of yourself. Oh and your smile...like I said, it just melts my heart. I love to see you smile. Your arms that lead down to your hands that lead to your fingers - which you are constantly either sucking on, or wrapping them tightly around my fingers or my shirt, or my bra, or even placing them gently on my breast while you're eating. Sometimes you drag your sharp fingernails across my arm, or start tugging at daddy's arm hair with your strong grip. Just showing us your strength I guess. Your cute little tummy. Now that your belly button has minimized a little, it's such a cute belly. I just love tickling it, or rubbing lotion on it, or giving it big kisses, or blowing raspberries on it. You have the softest skin of anyone I know. Your little baby bum. Everyone loves a cute little baby bottom. And with no diaper rashes to date...I can say that you've been pretty happy about it too! Your big strong legs. Some might call them thunder thighs, but you're only 4 months old, that can't be....They're strong so that you can practice standing on my lap, or climbing up my torso and over my shoulder. You haven't made it that far yet, but someday...I'm sure you'll conquer. Finally your sweet little feet. I could just pour chocolate sauce on them and eat them up. Your perfect little toes - are just so sweet. Jayla, from head to toe, I just love you to bits! You're so perfect to me. You just take your time doing what you need to do, and I'll just be there for the ride. I'll follow your cues and when you're ready to move on, I'll be there to help you and guide you anyway I can.
Please forgive me for having any negative thoughts. I just want to be the best mom possible and I don't want to make any mistakes. I know that if I do, you'll forgive me, but just know that I am doing this the only way I know how to.
Love Mommy!
posted by Melissa at 10:57 AM
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